September 25, 2006 - Monday

September 25, 2006 - Monday
A. Hitler Day 15
"Dear Diary,

Met with Ava's wretched parents today. Ach, the humiliation! Repeatedly they ask me what i do, and i tell them, 'I am Der Fuhrer!'
'That's nice dear, Der Fuhrer of what?'
'Of what? Of the Third Reich!' I scream at them.
Her bloody father punching me in the shoulder all the time and asking me if i want a glass of scotch and if i play football.
'Der Fuhrer does not drink Scotch! Der Fuhrer drinks Schnapps!' I howl at him, 'And i do not play football, i have had a grevious testicle injury that forbids it you old fool'
'Oh really? Well Ava's old boyfriend Martin used to play football, are you sure you don't want some scotch? Martin loved scotch..' I ignore this idiotic banter...And then we adjourn to the poxy little couch in their sitting room where we drink little cups of tea and eat crumpets. Ava's mother turns to me and says:
'So Martin...'
'My name is not Martin! It is Adolph! Adolph Hitler! You may call me Der Fuhrer!'
'Yes dear, and what is it you do again?' And so on and so forth...
The stupidity of her parents..I shall have them liquidated! I swear it! At the very least i will not go back there again. I Refuse!

And how dare she offer my testicle a strudel when it has clearly sucked up into my body cavity from the stress...

Mental Note: Blast France"