May 3, 2007 - Thursday

May 3, 2007 - Thursday

nothing funny here folks, please move along.

For the past two weeks I've been trying to find some way to dredge up some glimmer of light concerning the Virginia Tech University shootings in which, on April 16th, 2007, a stone-faced Chinese guy shot and killed 32 students over the course of two hours.

Forgive me, but this is my attempting to wrap my head around the whole thing and give it a humourous spin. Sadly, during the course of me amassing data on school shootings in general, the media beat me to the punch. They made, what is essentially a very unfunny thing, a total debacle. And the mountains of data i've accumulated on school shootings is immense. So immense, in fact, that if I suddenly decided to arm myself with a couple of Beretta Cx4 Storm semi-automatic carbines and go Hong Kong Cinema on my Alma Mater, the authorities would have little to do but look at my hard drive and find in my computer the source of all those dead kid's parents woes –clearly I had an obsession. And, although I seemed like a nice boy, I was a bit of an outcast; rejected by my peers and unceremoniously dumped by the woman I love.

I can't for the life of me figure out why the media insists on delving into the 'psychological profile' of people like Cho, or Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold (the pimply shitbirds responsible for the Columbine killing spree), or Kimveer Gill (a skinny little Goth fuck who went on a rampage through Dawson College in Montreal last year).Who cares that Cho (according to CNN) "…demonstrated repetitive behavior such as listening repeatedly to Collective Soul's Shine…" –the kind of behaviour that would prompt me to shoot him... Wait, why not blame it all on Collective Soul? It'd at least shut them up for a little while.

Anyway.

Who gives a ferret's wang that (according to Northeastern University criminal justice professor James Fox) "..In virtually every regard, Cho is prototypical of mass killers that I've studied in the past 25 years…"? 25 years James? I think somebody needs a hug.

In terms of taking preventative steps against these types of things happening, psychological profiles are about as useful as large teeth on a fruit fly. This can be illustrated by The National School Safety Center (or, We Convened This Group About 50 Years Too Late and Still Came Up With Twaddle) with their 'Checklist of Characteristics of Youth Who Have Caused School-Associated Violent Deaths'. They state without raw embarrassment that "These characteristics should serve to alert school administrators, teachers and support staff to address needs of troubled students …as well as referrals to appropriate community health/social services and law enforcement personnel. Furthermore, such behavior should also provide an early warning signal…"

Have these people never been inside a school? They're saying that authority figures are meant to keep an eye out for a few odd birds in places that contain more weird behaviour than a LSD-ravaged circus troupe. Here is their checklist:

Has a history of tantrums and uncontrollable angry outbursts.
Characteristically resorts to name calling, cursing or abusive language.
Habitually makes violent threats when angry.
Has previously brought a weapon to school.
Has a background of serious disciplinary problems at school and in the community.
Has a background of drug, alcohol or other substance abuse or dependency.
Is on the fringe of his/her peer group with few or no close friends.
Is preoccupied with weapons, explosives or other incendiary devices.
Has previously been truant, suspended or expelled from school.
Displays cruelty to animals.Has little or no supervision and support from parents or a caring adult.
Has witnessed or been a victim of abuse or neglect in the home.
Has been bullied and/or bullies or intimidates peers or younger children.
Tends to blame others for difficulties and problems s/he causes her/himself.
Consistently prefers TV shows, movies or music expressing violent themes and acts.
Prefers reading materials dealing with violent themes, rituals and abuse.Reflects anger, frustration and the dark side of life in school essays or writing projects.
Is involved with a gang or an antisocial group on the fringe of peer acceptance.
Is often depressed and/or has significant mood swings.
Has threatened or attempted suicide.

I'm reminded of my very dear friend Andy 'Oxide' Camm; bar owner, misanthropist, and leading metallurgist. He (and I know he would agree with me) will have worn his pencil down to a nub if he was playing at home and checking the appropriate boxes above.

The thing is, My level of surprise could be described as 'serious' if I were to hear about Andy going on a blood-drenched shooting spree throughout the Prague streets. 'Serious', even though every time I met with Andy, which was weekly for sometimes triple-day sessions, he discussed killing one person or another. In his defense though, the urge to go on shooting rampages in the Czech Republic can be very intense on some days.

Well. Whatever.You delve into the psyche of these nitwits and you always end up with the same words: 'troubled', 'beleaguered', 'depressed', 'loner', 'sociopath', 'isolation', 'frustration', etc.. Words, by the way, that can be found all over my personality write-up. These words are always ascribed posthumously and meant, somehow, to distinguish them 'the crazy' from you 'the normal'. They're meant to assure you that there were special circumstances that account for their total swerve off of Rational Avenue, and that you are nothing like them. These words also daintily skip around the real issues –the sticky one's, like how the fuck did a kid get his hands on enough ammunition to overthrow Granada? Okay, maybe not such a good example. I once accidentally overthrew Granada when I asked their consulate an awkward question.

No, news agencies prefer to subject you to the yammering faces of stern be-spectacled psychological and sociological 'experts' who engage in wild speculation as to the mental state of the killer before and during their massacre.

As I've already said many times before: the belief in the myth is strong in North America. The vast majority of people eagerly gobble up 'information' from these quacks hoping desperately to find the answer to the golden question: Why? When the question should really be: How?

These jack-asses, who were obviously happy-slapped in High School themselves, try to make rational people understand irrational behaviour by describing the uncomfortable environmental and sociological conditions of the would-be killers, so that 'normal' people might be able to understand why –well, he wasn't popular in high school, he had an obsession with a girl, he got rejected from the reserves, he found a lewd Cheerio in his breakfast that morning, etc.

Anyone who's seen footage of spring break in Cancun knows that schools are cesspools of psychosis and fucked-up behaviour. Any one of the shadowy dipshits you see in the background of a Girls Gone Wild video is a prime candidate for extremely ugly acts. As a matter of fact, losers like Cho –who would never be invited to those hormonal monkey-fests in the first place– could be considered 'normal' in that context. The thin red line becomes fuzzy here folks.

All the idiot speculation of these 'behaviour analysts' does is provide more airtime to these cretins than they deserve. Do we really need to hear their pathetic whingeing explanation as to what personal strife they went through that caused their deadly tantrum?

Look, they're fuck-ups, they freaked out and didn't freak back again. Fine.  Nothing to see here folks, move along. Let people reel and grieve without having these assholes faces flashed on the screen again, and again, and again.

Ah…I suppose you can't really blame the media though, right? I mean they show what people want to see. Or is it the other way around? Bleh.You can blame the parents, blame the movies, blame their peers, and blame the video games. You can open up these guys heads and find out where the synapses misfired. You can delve arduously into the mental capacity of these degenerates and you're still left with the fact that millions of other violence-obsessed, maladjusted, tweaked, ostracized kids do not decide to solve their woes through the heated barrel of a shotgun.

This from the Chicago Tribune (May 2, 2007 –a mere two weeks after Cho went Chernobyl): "The state's governor, Rick Perry, suggested the other day that Texans would all be a lot safer if gun owners who hold concealed-weapons permits were allowed to carry their weapons in places where they are now prohibited, such as schools, churches, courthouses and bar.

"This from a Prague friend in her blog:"Apologies if I come across as slightly pious, but it does nark me that when 33 Septics are killed in a suicide attack it is front page news, Bush and Blair do their furrowed-brow bit, and even The Queen has a few words to say.

However when, on a daily basis, 60 or 80 people are killed in Iraq in pretty simillar suicide attacks, it makes little more than a nib.

I calculate that the exchange rate in terms of news values is about 20 Iraqis to one American."Odd, isn't it, how the horrors of Vietnam were beamed into the living room of everyone that had a television in the early 70's. You got to see the bloody tatters of flesh and the screaming bandaged wounded. This time around, with Iraq, nary a scratch. You would almost think, judging by the media coverage, that things are going well. Somebody is glossing some naughty things over with other naughty things for the benefit of a cloistered self-absorbed society that can't see too many miles beyond their television set.

By the way. Czechs are obsessed with guns. I know beautiful model-types who go to the firing range daily to fire a few off. I've seen people on the metro blatantly carrying perfectly serviceable broad swords. I've been in houses and seen Glocks lying on a coffee tables as casually as a coaster. Czechs love weapons: blades, rifles, hand-guns, crossbows, Kalshnikovs, maces, smelling badly…hell, the place was a major manufacturer of guns during the sordid communist days. Yet, the amount of violent crime is minimal.

I believe a lot of this had to do with the two years mandatory military service at a young age. This has since been done away with, but the echo still remains: They learn, hands on, about the heavy responsibility of holding a gun –they take the fuckers seriously.

Or maybe it's because they're all too busy trying to attain the Great American Splendor they see in the movies; they simply don't have time to wallow in self-pity and seriously ponder the visceral masturbatory fantasy that we all occasionally entertain about laying waste to everything that pisses us off.

See? like I said, nothing funny here.