September 11, 2006 - Monday
A Hitler Day 5
"Dear Diary,
While doing my morning yoga routine with Bormann he pointed out to me that Charlie Chaplin (or as i like to call him "Mr. Funny Jew") and i share the same facial hair. I doubt highly that Charlie Chaplin spends as much time grooming his facial hair as i do. The many hours necessary to initiate my total comb-over alone would have him reeling in shock. Chaplin is a fraud. Not only did i have my ultra-efficient moustache before him but i am far, far funnier: only last weekend i made Giggermeyer laugh so hard he spontaeneously vomited.
Again i got my blasted testicle caught in my armpit during this morning's aforementioned yoga. Positive, i heard snickering from the next room. How could they know? And why does Bormann insist upon wearing cheetah pattern leotards, not the official jackboots and SS headband i have delegated to these sessions? It is very distracting. I shall drop a sheep turd in his coffee in reprisal.
Mental Note: annihilate Africa"
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